How to deal with negative people
by Mani Jack, M.J.
There are
many types of negative people.
1. The
first one is the one whom we call fault finder.
There are many reasons why some people become a very
negative fault finder. The basic cause is negative family upbringing in which a
parent or both parents who hardly compliment their own children for every
effort that their children make. In other words, this child has never been
recognized for his or her efforts. Last but not least, the parents are only
interested to highlight the mistakes made by their children and sometimes make
fun of the mistakes which gradually destroy the self-esteem of the children.
These parents who are extremely too perfectionist will always be too critical
on their children's performance or characters which will develop the culture of
fault-finding in their children. As they grow up, they will become a very
negative adult who will not be able to see the good sides of others as they
thought that they were right or perfect. All in all, this kind of parenting
skill is driven by the fear of failure.
If this fault finder is your boss, that means he or she is
not interested to help you to grow in that company or organisation. He or she
is only interested in the profit or the fame of the company or the
organisation. In other words, it is all about his or her personal interest. You
will never move forward no matter how hard you try to please your boss. If you
refuse to leave the company or organisation, create your own island of
happiness. If you have a chance, leave but make sure you have learned a lot
from that company. wake up in the morning and stay focus on new things that you
can master from that company or organisation.
If the fault finder happens to be one of your colleagues,
assume that he or she does not exist or assume that he or she has never been
relevant in your life. You can either choose to be the fault finder to teach
him or her a lesson or you just focus on the other colleagues who have made
your life wonderful and positive every time you go to work. Don't allow them to
bully you. Be firm and speak your mind.
If the fault finder is one of your family members or your
relatives, just stay away as much as you can if you cannot stand the heat. Let
karma do the work. One day, life itself will teach them a lesson and if you are
lucky enough you will be the first to go there to lend a hand or to enjoy the
scenery. Perhaps, a tragedy will change him or her and if you could forgive
them, perhaps it is time to start the relationship all over again.
If the fault finder is one of your friends, delete his or number
or unfollow his or her Facebook page because your mind and your heart deserve
peace. You deserve to be happy.
2. The
second one is the one who is too selfish.
At certain point, selfishness can be good for our
mental and emotional health. However, being too selfish can be very destructive.
A selfish person is the one who thinks that he or she as the only person on
earth who has more burden, more commitments, more stress, more pressure, more
workloads and etc. than others. This kind of person will always think that this
world owes them everything. This kind of person is only interested in getting
you to listen to their drama but refuse to do the same when you need them to
listen to your problems. How to deal with them? If he or she is your boss, just
mind your own business. Let him or her wonder why everyone is ignoring him or
her. If he or she is one of for family members, don't give them any attention.
They don't deserve it. If he or she is your friend, stop entertaining them. Let
them think. Let them do a long self-reflection about themselves. They are only
interested in receiving.
3. The
third one is the one who is a hypocrite.
This kind of person is one of the worst. They talk
about what they hate but they forget that they are doing the same thing. For
example, if they publicly talk about animal abuse, at home they also silently
hurt their own pets. If they talk about religions, their actions and words in
real life are full of arrogance. If they talk about betrayal, they forgot they
also did the same in the past. If they talk about honesty, they themselves
can't be truly honest for the rest of their lives. If they talk about injustice,
they themselves forget to be fair with their own family members and friends. If
they talk about world hunger, they themselves forget that they have not been
concerned about their own neighbors who need help. If they talk about other's
bad behavior, they forget to look at themselves in the mirror and believe that
the ones they see in the mirror are correct, right and perfect. If you choose
to stay, you will be the victims of his or her scrutiny as hypocrites have the
tendency to be judgmental. Cut all ties. There are so many new friends that you
could choose from out there.
4. The
fourth one is the one who is ungrateful.
This type of negative person is the most dangerous. Why do I
say so? First, they are lazy. They refuse to develop their own gift and talents
to improve themselves. They always consider other's achievements, success
or happiness as threats. The second reason is they refuse to appreciate what
they have. This lack of appreciation will cause them to be angry and restless. The
third reason is they can be dangerously envious. They may destroy what you have
because they can't accept that you are ahead of them. The last reason is they
love to sigh, whine and complain about things that they don't have, things that
make them angry or other people. You can't help this kind of negative people.
They have to help themselves. Let them find their own turning points. If you
get too close to this kind of negative people, their words and actions will
take away your inner peace and may prevent you from improving yourself.
We can always help to motivate the negative people
but they themselves must make efforts to improve themselves. However, if we
help them too much, they might be too dependent on us which may cause us to
lose ourselves or perhaps they might use us as their permanent punching
bags.
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