How to
handle grief without disrupting your responsibilities
There are certain things in life that we can never
avoid such as death, failure and sickness. If we are so healthy today, one day,
sickness will knock at the door. If we are so happy to be alive, angel of
death, sooner or later will come for a compulsory visitation. If we are so
excited with continuous success, failure may come unexpectedly as that is a
rhythm of life. Of all these predicaments, grief is the most painful as today
continuously becomes yesterday as not everyone is emotionally strong enough to
handle grief especially when we lose the ones we adore and treasure so much.
Some people may look okay after they have lost their
loved ones but deep inside them is a buried sadness which is beyond
description. Some may choose to live in illusion believing that the deceased is
still alive. If we refuse to accept the fact that that person is gone, waking
up in the morning is the last thing that we want to do and having a sleep at
night becomes more difficult as the mind is flooded by thousands of tears and
the heart is burdened by the sweet memories with the deceased. I know it is not
easy, but we have to gradually remind ourselves that life on earth will always
be temporary. The next journey after life on earth is a subject that is too abstract
for our mind to comprehend. In other words, letting go is an agonizing process
but if we don’t learn to let it go, that grief will take our body and slowly we
will be lost in our own seas of past in which today is no longer a present that
we should have cherished the most.
If we look at volcanic eruptions, that process has
everything to do with the buried sadness that we have been keeping within. Some
people may shut down themselves after attending a funeral. Their wrinkles are
growing due to repeated frowns. They lost appetite to enjoy their favourite
meals, movies and hobbies. In other words, they are dying as emotional struggle
can badly affect one’s physical appearance. It is impossible to enjoy life in
one week after losing someone. However, we need to make efforts to redevelop
our love for the things we love as I don’t believe that the deceased wants us
to destroy our lives. If we expect the deceased to rest in peace, we should
also learn to live in peace.
The rate of our success in handling grief depends on
the many things that we have to do quickly as a day wasted is equal to wasting
the whole life because tomorrow is just an illusion. Every day should be
treated with love and self-appreciation. Good friends and close family members
should be the first shelter that we look for if we were to handle grief
effectively. They may not be able to offer you a permanent relief but a
constant communication with them including lots of hugs will definitely heal
the invisible wounds that have been stealing your smiles for so long. If you
want to cry in front of them, just do it. The one who does not cry suffer more
than the one who decides to release that pain through every drop of the tears.
Your eyes might be red but at least your heart is able to breathe the air of
happiness again.
Some people may question God in anger when they go
through a grief. It is common to vomit that dissatisfaction on the altar as we
are emotionally and spiritually too weak to understand things which do not
offer quick answer and explanation. Prayer may not be able to put ice on that
anger because letting go takes time as time heals everything. Some people may
take more time than the others as our emotional wounds are different. We may
lose faith sometimes but a second thought about coming back to Him is
obligatory because the shouting heart can only be understood by the divine
element as human beings can only hear but God has the power to listen but it
takes faith to believe that everything happens for a reason. (707 words)
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